facebook status: stressed
i wasn't feeling well since last night, physically and emotionally. and then i had to attend this talk by cultural anthropologist, angeles arrien, for extra credit for my speech class. i am glad i did because the talk just lifted up my spirits.
in the hope of creating some ripple effect, i will write here what i learned from the talk.
everything after this will be dr. arrien's words, not mine...
there are four universal principles which include the ways of the warrior/leader, healer/caretaker, visionary/creator, teacher/counselor.
the way of the warrior/leader is to show up, or choose to be present. there are 3 universal powers: power of presence, communication and willingness to take a stand. these three powers are aligned with our commitment and personal responsibility. to be a warrior/leader, we have to convince with our presence and the quality of our personhood is sometimes manifested through nonverbal behaviors. Martin Luther King, Jr., Eleanor Roosevelt, Mahatma Gandhi - these are just some who exuded the powers of presence, communication and willingness to take a stand.
the leader is a also a good team player and follower. he doesn't compare because when he starts to compare, he despairs.
the way to the healer/caretaker is to pay attention to what has heart and meaning. every culture in the world has a healing model and healing usually is either in the form of traditional or folk medicine. healing can never take place in the fast lane. we need to slow down to integrate our experiences and deepen our character. the natural rhythm is from medium to slow. across cultures, we attend to three major life crucibles: work, friends/family, self-care. we usually attend to the first two and oftentimes neglect self-care. self-care requires time and silence and slowing down.
the most powerful source of healing is the heart. there are four chambers of the heart: full, strong, open and clear. the first chamber is full and its opposite is half-heartedness. to heal, we have to have a full heart. the second chamber is strong or courageous and the opposite is weak-hearted. sometimes, we are faced with the dilemma of being the pleaser or the appeaser. having a strong or courageous heart doesn't mean that we avoid conflicts though. part of the strong hear is saying what we mean, doing what we say, and saying what-so when it-so. the next chamber is the open heart whose opposite is the closed heart or holding on to past grudges, conflicts, etc. we need to let go of the past through forgiveness and reparation. if we are not ready to forgive others, we have to forgive ourselves for not being ready yet. we have to look at conflict as an invitation to creative problem solving. the fourth chamber is the clear heart. clarity creates safety. sometimes, we bring this artificial fog machine with us. where we're clear, we should take action; where we're not clear, we should wait.
the way of the visionary/creator is to tell the truth without blame of judgement. be who you is because there is no other you. you might as well be yourself because everyone else is taken.
the way to the teacher/counselor is to be open to outcome, not attached to outcome. every culture of the world has an education model. we have to plan well, prepare well, and be open to outcome, but not attached to outcome. you are attached to something when you think it's not funny anymore. this is also manifested on how you handle surprises and the unexpected. we have to trust ourselves, trust others and trust circumstances.
dr. arrien ended the first part of the talk with the poem 'anyway' by kent keith.
for the second part of the talk, dr. arrien talked about the universal tracking tools. if you track your experiences, you can integrate them. if you integrate, you can improve your character.
she talked about the 4 rivers of life against the procession of the living dead.
the first is the river of inspiration. everyday, you should ask yourself, who or what has inspired me? inspiration is fire and has meaning.
the second river is the river of challenge. challenge is an invitation to grow, stretch and move beyond what's familiar. sometimes, we get confused with the meaning of innovation and creativity. innovation always works on what's knowable, within our comfort zone. creativity, meanwhile, is totally unfamiliar, based on trial and error which makes us learn. to grow, we have to be creative and move out of our comfort zones.
the third is the river of surprise. surprise keeps us flexible. we should always make room for the unexpected. this is our connection to flexibility and happiness. ask yourself, what made me happy today? who made me laugh? who did I make laugh? learn from the chinese philosophy - be like a bamboo reed, not too firm and not too yielding.
the last is the river of love, being touched and moved by life's experiences. this connects us to compassion. ask yourself, what have i learned? what do i need to pass on? who has taught me about love? there are two obstacles to achieve connection to humanity - unhealthy pride and fear. unhealthy pride is when we want to win and be right. fear constricts energy. there is the fear of loss/abandonment and the fear of being limited/restricted. we can learn from an african philosophy - when you're afraid, it's time to get larger, go deeper, not smaller. it also helps to sing or chant to diffuse anxiety of fear.
as an ending, dr. arrien narrated a funny and enlightening story about the relationship between a person and the toll booth operator.
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